Hold Your Thumbs! Why Texting Too Much Can Ruin Your First Date

manholdingsmartphoneSo here’s the scenario…

You found a match on an online dating site and you’ve been exchanging emails for the past couple of weeks. It seems to be going very well and you think it’s time you ask her for an actual date.  So you ask for her number and she gladly gives it to you.

You’re filled with excitement as you begin to create your very first text messages in your head. You ask her to meet for dinner and she says yes.

So what do you do in the mean time? You’ve become so enthralled with the idea of this potential romantic partner that you barrage her with all the questions you can think of.

But stop right there. What’s the hurry?

Do you want to give her the idea that you’re desperate? Or that you’re a PI and you want to know everything about her? Stop right there!

Even when she does give you the “right” answers, it’s so easy for someone to say the right things when they have the time to think before pressing send. It actually promotes a sense of false connection – you can never really know if you have chemistry until you finally meet.

For example, you ask her where she went to school. So she tells you, “I actually grew up in Philadelphia but I studied college in NYU.” Great! So you got that information.

But you can also get it from her “About Me” page in any of her social media accounts. Asking her about menial things will give you the right responses, but it takes away the human connection of an actual face to face conversation.

So you finally meet each other and you’re having dinner. After the small talk about the weather, complimenting her about how nice she looks, and after you’ve ordered, there’s a surprising silence that engulfs the date.

Do you know why?

Because you have nothing else to ask her! You’ve already asked every single question you can think of when you barraged her with text messages!

Can you just imagine if you ask the questions again, like “Where did you study again?” It gives off the impression that you weren’t paying attention to her reply, so say goodbye to that could-have-been useful icebreaker.

Imagine if you didn’t ask her that question. She could tell you she grew up in Philadelphia but studied in NYU in New York because it was always her dream to live in the Big Apple. You can then follow it up with other questions like, “Why New York?” or “So did your dreams come true?” and plenty of other follow-up, open-ended questions that could have lasted well into the night.

And the little things of face to face conversations like eye contact, body language, or a simple smile could’ve created the spark you were anticipating.

Now, all you have is silence instead of fireworks. And it’s all because you got too excited and dug into her past before you even saw each other. Which is also one of the reasons why so many relationships fail these days – you skip before you can walk.

Before the age of text messages, a man would ask for a girl’s number, call her after a few days, and set a date for the week after. In today’s age, you can already be in a relationship in that span of time.

So before you start typing text after text on your phone, it may be smarter to funnel that excitement to your first date.  There’s power in silence.

Keep her excited by making yourself look calm, nonchalant, and mysterious – even when you’re feeling fireworks inside and can’t wait to meet her.

5 Reasons It’s Great To Be Single (Even If It Doesn’t Always Feel That Way)

womansittinginfrontofflowersDoes it seem like everyone around you is in a happy relationship except for you? Do you find yourself going on blind dates and crossing your fingers that your perfect match is just one date away? Are you known among your friends as the “Serial Speed Dater” or “Miss I Need A Boyfriend”?

Well, guess what?

There is no reason to panic!

It is perfectly normal to feel this way. Just think about it: from the time you were born society has taught you to believe that your sole purpose in life was to find your dream job, buy your dream house, and get married to the man of your dreams.

Television shows like “The Bachelor” and “Scandal” make it look easy to have any guy you desire if you simply show him how much you care. While in reality, your failed attempts to find the perfect guy has caused you to neglect the things that make life amazing.

You have completely forgotten to appreciate what life is really all about, the little things. Today, I have good news. It is not too late to recover those unsung moments!

While you sit around waiting for your celebrity crush to propose to you in a flash mob, time is continuously passing by. Take a break from obsessing about meeting Mr. Right and realize there are actually a lot of positives that result from being single.

Here are My Top 5 Reasons Why Being Single is Great

1. You Can Come And Go As You Please

In a relationship you constantly have to check in and schedule events around your significant other’s obligations. Last minute parties become a thing of the past and you can forget about staying out all night without it causing a fight. Single people are able to stay out all night if they choose to and don’t have to rely on anyone else’s schedule.

2. The Bed Is All Yours

There’s nothing worse than going to the bathroom in the middle of the night and having to fight your way back onto your side of the bed. No more waking up shivering because your partner is wrapped in all the covers.

Not to mention, you can snore or sleep in any direction you want. Being single, you have full control of the bed. Enjoy it!

3. You Can Flirt As Much As You Want

I think we can all agree that flirting is FUN!

If a cute guy catches your attention, you can give him a lusty stare or a seductive smile so he knows you are interested. Flirt with the waiter, blow kisses at a hot guy eating alone, or talk with other people at the bar.

When you’re single, you can flirt until your heart is content and not have to worry about getting the evil eye from a jealous boyfriend.

4. You Can Wine And Dine Yourself

Get your hair done, put on your best dress, and have a personal date night. Try the ethnic foods you always avoided because your ex wasn’t interested. Order desert or try an exotic drink.  Treat yourself like he should have!  Try something new that you never got around to doing when you were dating.

5. You Can Finally Finish Your Personal Projects

You know the ones: that race for charity, that flower garden you started a few months ago, or how about that bird house you were building?

Get back to it! Finish those projects you put off while you were in a relationship.

Hopefully after reading this article, you are starting to realize that being single really isn’t all that bad. In fact, it’s pretty awesome!

Enjoy being single while you can!  It won’t last forever!

4 Ways To Get Your Husband To Help Around The House Without Nagging

manhelpingaroundthehouseHow do you get your husband to help around the house without nagging?  Good question.

In a recent study, researchers discovered that women spend about three times as many hours per week performing household chores in comparison to men.

Some women are fortunate enough to have husbands who actually don’t mind assisting them around the house. On the contrary, some women’s husbands contend that being the bread winner automatically excludes them from these responsibilities.

No matter which category your spouse falls into, it can be pretty frustrating when the bulk of the chores fall on you.

Does this sound familiar? Are you tired of washing dishes, folding towels, and scrubbing toilets all by yourself?

If so, I am sure you wouldn’t be shocked to know you are not alone.

Each month, I get a ton of emails from women who feel the exact same way. They are frustrated with their current situations and they just want to know, what is the best way to get your husband to help out more around the house?

Well to be honest, this answer varies depending on the individual. Normally, a man’s upbringing plays a huge role.

For example, if he grew up without having to be responsible for chores around the house, it is likely it does not feel like he is doing anything wrong when he doesn’t assist you.

One thing is for sure: you won’t get him to help out more by nagging and complaining.

Here are a few things you can do to get your husband to help out more around the house:

Ask instead of telling

Men hate it when you talk to them like you are their mother. When you demand your husband takes out the trash or scrubs the floors, it can easily make him feel like you are treating him like a child. Instead of making demands, try asking politely.

Adjust your choice of words

Use the word “would” instead of “could”. If you ask him if he could paint the garage, you open the door for him to reject your question. Of course he could do it, but it is not something he is really interested in doing. Substituting “could” with “would” instantly removes the opportunity for him to think on whether or not he wants to complete the task.

Show sincere appreciation

Think about how good you feel when he does something to show you he cares. Despite what you may think, men want to feel like you care too. Show sincere appreciation during the times he helps out and it will motivate him to voluntarily assist in the future.

Try making a list

Some guys just need you to make a list so they know exactly what needs to be done. He may see the clothes need to be washed, but he also knows you have a panic attack if you don’t wash them in your own special way. Instead of making you angry because he did not separate the whites from the colored clothing, he just leaves them for you to do later.

By using a list, your husband will know exactly what he needs to do to make you happy. It is likely he will try to complete the list as fast as possible, especially if you throw in a little incentive.  A list can also help keep a man focused because men aren’t able to multi-task nearly as well as women, and putting too much on his plate at once can overwhelm him if it’s not written down.

While your man isn’t likely to take over all the chores anytime soon, getting your husband to help out around the house more is totally possible with just a few small changes in how you approach him with your “hunny-do” list!

Where Have All The Rich Guys Gone? 4 Proven Ways To Attract Successful Men

mandressedinsuitLet’s face it!  Everyone wants to be successful.

We all want money and all the good things that come with it.  From a woman’s perspective, nothing is as annoying as dating a cheap guy who borrows money from you and makes you pay for dates all the time.

Although most women are vouching for equality nowadays, men are still viewed as providers in society. This article is meant for women who are sick and tired of dating broke men.

It’s important to note that there is nothing bad about wanting to date successful men.  Forget about gold digging stereotyping for a second.  Wanting to date a rich man doesn’t make you a horrible person.

This article will focus on helping you discover effective ways of attracting successful men.

1. Upgrade your lifestyle

This is the first and most important tip to consider when you want to attract successful men. You can’t expect to attract rich men if your lifestyle is below average.

It is important to note that you are valued by the way you treat yourself. You can’t be shopping in the cheapest stores or driving a cheap car and expect to attract a successful man.

Upgrade your lifestyle and get the best value for your money. You will attract men of worth when you look the part.

2. Hang out where successful men are

This is another important tip to consider. If you keep complaining that you aren’t meeting successful men every time you go out, you are most probably hanging out in all the wrong places.

Take a moment and think about the best places to find successful men. Do you want some ideas?

Attend art gallery openings, treat yourself once in a while at a 5 star restaurant, get sports club membership etc. You can even go for a long holiday in an exclusive destination.

You just need to take some time and think where you would go on weekends, for holiday, for a drink etc. if money wasn’t an issue.

3. Speak and think success

It is important to note that we attract what we think and speak about.  It’s the universal law of attraction.

If you keep speaking about negative things, you will have a very easy time attracting negativity in your life.

Avoid the company of girlfriends who speak negative i.e. how hard it is to meet rich men because such talk will instill pessimism in you making it harder for you to succeed.

You are what you think and speak. Think success with rich men and you will succeed.

4. Raise your standards

It is also important to note that you get exactly what you accept. If you keep entertaining ”useless” men in your life, you will have a very hard time attracting successful men.

You should have a zero tolerance for men who don’t meet your success standards. If he asks you to split the check or he borrows money from you on a regular basis, get rid of him immediately.

You have to become the woman rich men love, i.e. a woman with high standards.  Focus on becoming the type of woman rich men want, and attracting super successful men into your life will become much easier.

Why Am I Still Single At 40? Dating Mistakes Keeping You From Finding Love

womanholdingpuppyThe older you get, the more difficult it is to find somebody who is on the same wavelength as you are, and that is a known fact. Some women are just lucky enough to find the man of their dreams early on, and to keep him by their side over the decades. Others are not so lucky, and they are constantly looking for that one man who is about to change their life.

Even when they find him, they are prone to making certain mistakes that can push him away. If you are a mature woman over 40 and you are committed to entering the dating scene again, then here are some common mistakes that you should avoid at all costs:

1. Keep It Real!

This is a very common mistake that actually has nothing to do with age or gender, as we all tend to have high and unrealistic expectations. While some women have low standards and they settle for less than what they truly deserve, others simply raise the bar too high for anybody to reach it and even those who might reach it, may as well be scared by your high standards and back off.

It is important for everybody to understand that perfection is a century-old myth that nobody will always be able to reach â however, this does not mean that you cannot have your own perfect man, if you just loosen up your dating criteria a bit!

2. Don’t Ditch Unattractive Men

There is an old saying that goes like this: “Hunger comes as you eat”. Same applies to love: even if a man does not strike you as a particularly handsome gentleman, this does not mean that you cannot be attracted to him. Just give him some time to prove himself, and you might actually be surprised!

3. Don’t Focus Too Much On Money And Success

Another common mistake women over 40 tend to make when dating men is that they are too focused on the career and bank account of their (potential) significant other, and this happens especially when the lady is a successful and accomplished woman herself. Wanting somebody who is at least as successful as you are is perfectly normal and understandable, and so is not wanting to support a man, but once again, do not raise the bar too high.

Do not deny yourself the love and appreciation of a man who might as well turn out to be the best person to have ever crossed your path, simply because he is not so rich or accomplished as you are. Also, do not forget that people see success differently while some of them consider success to be something strictly related to their professional life and their career, others are better off with a loving, healthy family.

4. He Must Not Always Share The Same Hobbies And Interests As You Do

Once again, for many men this may seem as an absurd request, as men and women tend to have different hobbies, passions and interests. Of course, it is crucial to find somebody who shares some common interests, as you must find common ground, but it is also important to acknowledge the fact that your man may also have different hobbies that you may not approve of and that is perfectly fine. Just give him space and let him do his thing, do not reject a man simply because he does not meet all of your criteria entirely.

5. Do Not Look Only For Religious Men

Another very common mistake that many women tend to make these days is that they simply ignore atheists or agnostics who do not believe in the same Creator as they do.  For many people, this may seem as an absurd requirements, as everybody must have the right to believe (or not to believe) in something.  Moreover, some people tend to be rather spiritual than religious, and that is perfectly fine. It is very important to be realistic and to realize that finding a man who shares your spiritual or religious views 100% is like looking for a needle in the haystack.

The Bottom Line

To conclude, finding your one true love is all about being realistic and staying true to who you are. Some women do prefer to be alone for the rest of their lives, especially after the loss of an important person or after a hurtful divorce, but others are simply willing to start over again. One thing is for sure, though: if you are willing to share your life with another man, it is important to understand that you must make some compromises.